Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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