I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
