So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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