i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He felt like a one man threesome
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
