You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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