i may or may not be watching the land before time
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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