what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
