i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
