yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
