Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
