just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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