you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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