Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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