their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
