THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
