I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
