planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
