so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
