oh god the rape fog is back!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
