You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Randomize