just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
