I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
When are your genitals available?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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