He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my being single is dangerous.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
