you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize