About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
