Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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