drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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