Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize