How'd it feel making her break her religion?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
