if you like me you must not know who I am
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
