I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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