Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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