I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
