Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
