Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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