He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
this hospital has no fireball
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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