Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
