I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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