He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
