in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
