I wish I could teleport
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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