And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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