After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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