Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
