I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
