My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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