so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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