also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
