spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
