i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
