Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
