Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it's not cheating when I paid for it
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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