I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
