I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
