Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
