Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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