Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
