I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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