We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize