So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
