Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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