I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
A+ Viking dick
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
