i would punch a child for taco bell
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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