So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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