dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Screwed.edu
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
