Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
