i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
